Back then pole dancing was relatively new on the fitness scene. I googled for lessons, found some companies that done Hen/Birthday parties, & threw myself a Pole Dance party for my birthday. I loved it. And when I say loved it – I mean I loved TRYING. It was hard! I don’t suppose I was very good, & it hurt the next day. But I still wanted to go back. We tried some spins, walking with a bit of style, & climbing. (Didn’t get very high even with my friends underneath trying to push me up!). But I enjoyed it so much I signed up for a six week beginner course.
I’m someone who has to get out of the comfort zone every now and again. I hate having regrets & not pushing myself or trying new things, & the feeling of doing the same old same old scares me. I was worried about the course. Getting there & being shit & on show for everyone else to see. I didn’t want to be unable to do something with other people watching. I cringed at the thought of doing anything ‘sexy’, & was conscious about my stomach, bingo wings etc. And I DREADED having to make conversation with people I didn’t know. But I imagined that comfort zone & decided to make it bigger. Sod it.
When I got there…… The other women were blonde, brunette, tall, short, round, skinny – you name it. Cellulite, flabby bits, stretch marks, scars. It really made me think “How self-centered am I!?!” Why was I worried about being looked at? All these women are concentrating on their own shit! Trying to hang on the pole without falling off, nervous when they took their turn to give the pole a go. Too busy to be looking at me! We were all new, we were all shit, we were all nervous, we all had something ‘wrong’ with our bodies. As it turned out, we all congratulated each other on a move when we got it right, we all laughed at ourselves when we fucked up, we all encouraged each other. I worried for nothing.
It quickly became addictive, I got better every week, found some moves came easily, others hard (and that’s still the same case). No matter how bruised I got or if skin came off my hands, I couldn’t wait for my next lesson. I had to travel into London after work, got home late & couldn’t even afford it, but I really didn’t care – as long as I was going.
My confidence grew in different ways. From starting conversations with strangers, making friends, not giving a shit if I messed up. My body felt stronger which made me feel awesome. It done things I didn’t know it could. At some point I realised how it had crossed over into different areas of my life too. At work & socially. I was more confident OUTSIDE of pole class. I was feeling achievement on a regular basis.
Moral of the story.
If you’re thinking about trying pole dancing, or anything else for that matter. Just DO it. Everyone else is too worried about themselves to be worried about you! Every one is a beginner; everyone is poo to start with. Have a private lesson if you prefer but don’t wait about. Life’s too short, & worrying is a waste of time & energy. You may find your hobby, passion, a new career move, friends, best of all – confidence. At least you would have given it a try. As they say – everything you want is on the other side of fear.
I wrote this because a lot of people talk to me about wanting to start, why they’re still contemplating it a year later but never just DO. Maybe this will help someone make a decision. I hope so.
As always comments/questions welcome.